Sprinkles Are Pretty

But they can make you feel like swearing.

Even if you are not a person who typically uses swearing words.

I warn you.  Do not eat sprinkles over or near your computer keyboard.

Especially the large hard round ones.

Why?

Well, they can wreck havoc when they bounce from your mouth and under a key.

The key, you see, won't work.  It can't go down.

To get your stuck key to work you must dislodged the sprinkle.

The round hard ones won't be smashed by forcing the key down.  

This I know this for a fact.

They are that hard.

They must be blown out.  Preferably with canned air.

But first, you might have to dislodged them with dental floss.

Once out from under the key, they tend to migrate to other keys.

So just when you think you are home free you find another key is stuck.

By one single solitary rock hard sprinkle. 


Which is no longer an object of fun and delight, as sprinkles tend to be. 

But one you want to cuss.

Eventually, in my case, I got the sprinkle out.

After much frustration.

And a lot of googling which yielded information on how to remove the key from the keyboard.

With the dire warning to not break it in the process.

Which would necessitate buying a new key board.

No prettily sprinkled food is worth the cost of a new keyboard.

 I vowed to never again eat a dipped and sprinkled pretzel while keyboarding.

At least not close to my keyboard.

I lean far away from it and hope the little balls don't bounce THAT far.

The Pros and Cons of 100 Calorie Packaging

100 calorie packs have their place.  But if your choice happens to be a food trigger, eating a 100 calorie pack will likely lead to a binge and you eating multiple 100 calorie packs.

The best use, imo, of 100 calorie packs is to meet a need using a non-triger food.

Say you have a sweet tooth, need a sweet treat daily mid-afternoon.  Here's where your 100 calorie non-trigger food can do a world of good.

I almost always desire something sweet after lunch.  Enter the Hostess Cupcake 100 calorie pack.  Three miniature Hostess cakes plus a cup of Earl Grey with splash of skim milk. Totally satisfying.

 Because Hostess cupcakes are not a trigger food for me I am not tempted to eat beyond one pack.  As a plus the Hostess 100 calorie packs have a good bit of fiber--4 grams--which is a benefit to stave off hunger.

100 calorie packs can be your friend or a foe.  Choose wisely.

The Enemy: Hunger

One of the biggest foes in the battle of the bulge is hunger.

You can't be on the defensive.  If you wait until you're hungry it's too late.

You must go on the offense.  You must eat before you are hungry.

Doing that will allow you to eat less and not be as tempted to overeat because a thing tastes good. 

You may need to eat a snack between meals to prevent getting hungry.  Doing so would be an offensive move.

Another offensive tactic to keep hunger at bay is to eat protein and fiber at each meal and snack.

It doesn't have to be complicated.  Yogurt or milk plus high fiber cereal.  Cottage cheese plus an apple.  An egg salad or tuna sandwich on whole grain bread and some carrot sticks.  A granola bar with protein and fiber added.

See--that's simple, doable...and believe me it works.  The protein and fiber take longer to digest.  Your stomach doesn't empty so quickly and the blood sugar rise, which affects appetite and hunger, is slower and lower.

Find the lowest calorie high fiber protein combination and see what a difference it makes overall.

Why?

The past 3 days have been a bust. I've been eating past my calorie allotment--even though I'm not hungry. Arrrrrgh....Why do I do that? Honestly, I haven't got a clue. Which only serves to frustrate me and compel me to eat even more.

It seems when I "feel" out of control--which has been my feeling of late--I have no resolve. I feel helpless--a victim of whatever "it" is spinning me about, causing me to be discombobulated, rendering me unable to get any traction to stop "it" and get back on the path toward my goal. I feel like I'm in free fall, spinning about, totally without control. "It" carries me like a tidal wave toward looming disaster--to my way of thinking--where I will crash and burn. I need a parachute.

I awaken today, saying mentally, this is the day I attach, get some traction, put it in gear and head away from disaster making quick tracks. Can I prevail today over "it"? I don't know.

And until I can figure out what is really going on I am bound to repeat this behavior. Trying to stop "it" has been futile. How do you stop "it" when you don't even know what "it" is. For sure "it" is the enemy--one of many--that plagues me in my weight loss efforts. "It" has always been operative--that is why I've regained all the weight I've ever lost. Success comes to me, but it never stays. I couldn't maintain my success then, and I'm finding I'm having the same difficulty now.

And I'm well aware of what causes my downfall--eating more calories than my body needs to maintain its weight. But why now? Why back when?

I firmly believe it is something in my subconscious thinking driving me. My behavior is led by that thinking, my intention is set by that thinking. But what the heck am I thinking?!!!! Help! I need that parachute now--a tactic, a strategy, a clue..anything..something..*sigh*.

I refuse to throw in the towel, give up, at this point. I'm running out of years. The quitting tactic did not serve me well. So I've got to continue. But if I continue as I've always done I'm going to end up in the same place. I want to arrive in the land of "slimmed down", normal BMI...finally...and I want to stay in that country...live there--not just visit it.

Tips to Help You Stop Eating

The September 18, 2008 post at Normal Eating is just too good not to share. It offers up some good tips to help with stopping eating.

Stopping eating when food tastes good is difficult for me. Though I want to stop at 2 cookies it's rare that I do. All too often I just eat until they're gone or until I feel stuffed and miserable.

After reading the tips at Normal Eating I'm thinking I can compromise and reason with myself the next time I'm eating delicious cookies by saying something like this: "o.k.--stopping at 2 is something you don't want to do. You'd really like to eat 10. How about stopping at 4? No? Then 5? O.K." Sure, 5 cookies is a lot of cookies...a whole lot more than 2--but the upside is that it's a whole lot less than 10, and that would be a huge improvement--moving me in the right direction toward the day when I'm able to stop at 2. (That's me thinking positive. :-D)

Another tip--make a list of negative consequences--is one I've tried. One day I baked cookies, which were out of this world good. I ate 4 of them. They were large and very rich. I was so sick after and didn't want a repeat so I printed myself a reminder that said: Remember how awful you felt when you ate ALL those cookies? I stuck it up on the fridge where I couldn't miss it.

It must have worked because I haven't made those cookies since, in spite of how excellent they taste, because the minute I consider baking them I associate the horrible stuffed feeling I had and immediately I'm put off. Ugh...I definitely don't want that pukey sick feeling again. It's just not worth it. Even writing about the experience is off putting--my stomach is churning--and the cookies are some of the best I've ever made or tasted. Sad, isn't it?

Karen Koenig shares some helpful insight and practical tips so be sure to read her post. Go here. (if the link won't work you can find the post at http://www.eatingdisordersblogs.com/healthy/2008/09/tips-for-stoppi.html#more)

I Binge

Of late I’ve realized I’m a food binger. I’d always thought those who binged ate huge volumes of food. Like a whole pizza and a whole 2 liter Coke followed by a half dozen donuts--all in one sitting .

But a binge can consist of smaller volumes of food. It’s the compulsion to eat and the inability to stop eating, even though your head and heart desire that you do so. You just can’t..you are compelled to continue…and when you finally do stop you are unable to eat any more at that point. And you don’t know why you arrived at the stopping point, or why it came so late, only that it did. Why couldn’t it come sooner, when you wanted it to?

What drives that compulsion? Something is driving it. Why does it have power over me? Do I give it the power? Perhaps indirectly. But on purpose--no way. In my conscious thinking I’m fighting it, begging it to stop---to release me. Beating myself up for being weak..trying to analyze what is going on with me. Is there something wrong with me that I can’t quit after 2 cookies?

When I do stop at 2 and put them away and walk away--they call my name. They taunt me until I go back to them and indulge in more eating. Followed by regret and guilt and self loathing. (Remember the commercial “no one can eat just one!”--the seed has been planted that we are incapable and we accept it.)

If I am truly a weak willed person, why doesn’t it show up in other areas of my life? My house is spotless. I’m always on time; I always do what I say I’ll do unless providentially hindered. I work hard. I’m honest. I never waste money…I can keep to a budget with no problem. I’m not tempted to purchase on impulse.

But when it comes to food--something is amiss. Why didn’t I realize this sooner? Because I didn’t recognize the problem. I thought my weight was the problem. But it wasn’t. My weight is a symptom of the problem. Food and my relationship with food is the problem. Whether I’m overeating 500 calories a day or 5,000---overeating is overeating.

Great Advice
On Choosing Treats......

I want to direct you to a great blog--Limes and Lycopene. It has tons of useful, resourceful information relative to food and eating wisely.

This post: Day 26 Tricks and Treats is a guest post from Shauna Reid, aka Diet Girl, and it's chock full of great advice and worthy of note. I'm going to tack a copy of it on my fridge for a few days so it can soak into my thinking.

Click on over there and read the post time permitting...and while you're there peruse the rest of the great blog entries. They won't disappoint.

A Day of Intuitive Eating

UPDATE: I've lost the pound I gained on vacation...and an additional .7!! for a grand total lost to date of 15.7....nearing my 20 pounds lost goal.

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Since I’ve returned home from vacation I’ve been able to be more focused and eat intuitively once again. To eat intuitively, I cannot eat on auto pilot. I have to pay attention to several things: What am I hungry for? Am I physically hungry? Once I begin eating, where am I on the hunger scale? Am I eating too fast?

That last thing in the list is important, because I find if I eat too fast it is hard to stay attuned to my hunger level…I’ll pass “full” without realizing it if I go too fast. Slowing down allows me to note where I’m at and gives my brain time to catch up with my stomach. Any of us who’ve been on Weight Watchers for any length of time have heard that it takes about 20 minutes for the message to get to your brain that your stomach is full.

When I first heard that I found it interesting. I was always a very slow eater and never had a weight problem prior to meeting my husband. But he made comments about how long it took me to finish a meal on a date, and thereafter I made a point to speed up. Silly me---I basically shot myself in the foot.

Another time, not long after we were married, he observed me eating a cookie. He commented: “do you really need that?’ Thereafter, I continued to eat cookies when I desired, but not in front of him---- and take note---I hid the cookies. That made the cookies seem “forbidden” and induced guilt when I ate them which only served to make me feel like a loser, a “cheat”… and that led me to seek solace in said cookies---a vicious cycle indeed.

Had I a lick of sense in my silly head, I’d have told him to shut up---but I was only 18 and madly in love. If I could roll back the curtain of time, those scenes would have played out differently. But, that was then, this is now. NOW I’m relearning what I intuitively practiced for so many years--the years when I wasn’t fat and the issue of weight was a non-issue.

So…today, being back home, life back to normal I was able to totally practice IE. I was curious about how many calories I’d actually eaten “intuitively”. I decided to tally them up. What follows is a list of the food I ate today, in order of eating, along with the calorie count. Note: I ate what I was hungry for at the time.

Breakfast: one cup of coffee with 2 teaspoons of ½ and ½……15 calories; one half of a Lara Bar…..100 calories. ( I just wasn’t hungry this morning.) Total: 115K

Lunch: a BLT consisting of 2 slices of bread….140K; 2 slices of bacon….90K; ½ tablespoons of light mayo….25K; tomato ….10K; lettuce….5K; ½ cup cantaloupe….50K; a glass of unsweetened iced tea. Total: 320

Mid-afternoon found me at : Starbucks!! One half of an orange cranberry scone…230K; a large unsweetened iced coffee with ¼ cup whole milk….40K; and a tablespoon of ½ and ½….20K. Total: 290

Supper: Taco salad comprised of----salad….15K; salsa….25K; Nacho chips….65K; 2 ounces lean ground beef…..80K; ½ cup kidney beans….55K; salad dressing….50K; ½ ounce Colby cheese…55K Total: 345

Evening snack: the rest of my Cranberry orange scone….230K; a cup of unsweetened Indian spiced chai with low fat milk…..30K. Total: 260

Grand Total: 1330

I was really surprised at how low the calorie count was. One, because I ate what I “wanted”…and two---I had a scone from Starbucks!!!

I noted that I was hungry after supper (when I finished off the scone), owing I believe to eating so little at breakfast. Normally I eat more at breakfast, but today I was just not hungry. Also, I imagine had I eaten breakfast it’s likely I wouldn’t have been hungry for the scone after lunch.

I find this practice---eating intuitively and then when I’m “done” for the day, tallying everything up---confirms that if I listen to myself---look inside for what to eat, how much to eat---- that instinctively I will know what, and how much to eat. Amazingly, kicking the food police out of my head and releasing myself from their influence has had the effect of unshackling me from the bondage to food I found myself in.

While I don’t think everyone’s eating problems stem from emotional issues---I think a great many of us do have emotionally disordered eating and dieting only adds to the problem and adds to our burden.

Again, I encourage you to read the book, particularly if you find yourself struggling in your current method/plan or just needing something to augment the process. As I said in a previous post---my former plan of eating the number of calories per day that it would take to maintain my desired weight worked as far as setting the parameter for my eating that would lend itself to weight loss----but it had little effect on the reason I tend to need to overeat.

Addressing the “why” is most important, in my opinion. Why is enough food never enough? Why must I always eat to the point of---in fact feel driven to --- being so full that I am uncomfortable? That is not a normal behavior, though it is quite common. I think it is only at the point of being too full that I felt I was able to say “I’ll decide…no one and no-thing is going dictate what I can eat .” I was, in effect, repeatedly declaring my freedom.

Even if I had not decided to do IE whole hog, just using the hunger scale to help me keep within the defined 1600 calories on average per day parameter would have been a huge help. Why? Because I found, for myself, that no matter the amount, be it 1200 calories or 2200 calories, I’d always want “more”. The reason? Because any “allowed” amount, small or generous, “forbids” me to eat past a certain point…it restricts me. And that restriction only serves to make me want more, to be free to have more…I want to-- in fact have a need to---push against that boundary. Having an artificial indicator to end eating does little to affect the desire within. We may through sheer will power stop our eating, but the desire to continue resides within…unless it is confronted and dealt with.

Freedom--whether it be in eating, life, liberty or the pursuit of happiness is the prize we reach for more than any other thing I can think of. It is the thing we will fight for--- yea, die for---- if need be.

Overeating, gluttony, is a killer for sure. The Bible says the glutton may as well put a knife to his throat? Why, you ask? Well, a knife to the throat will kill you surely, as will overeating, gluttony. May as well do it quickly with the knife. A slow death is never desirable--for who desires prolonged suffering and misery?

It was high time for me to quit using overeating as a declaration of independence. I give/gave myself permission to decide what I may eat, how much I may eat, when I may eat. Let freedom ring!
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If you haven’t read Kathy’s post “One Perfect Bite” be sure to do so…It’s insightful and after having read it, all day I searched for the perfect bite discovering once again how delightful it is to truly savor and enjoy my food.

Vacation and Intuitive Eating

After eight days away from home with lots of eating out I’m one pound heavier than I was when I left. Not too shabby considering….

I mainly focused on the Intuitive Eating hunger scale, honoring my hunger and respecting my fullness ….though I did find it all too easy to be distracted.. It is difficult too, to maintain focus, when faced with lots of out of the ordinary treats and circumstances. It’s easy to slip into that old auto pilot routine of mindless eating. I managed to make some trade offs--going for the foods that I really wanted, craved or were not what I could get at home. Had I been able to keep up with my walking and weight lifting routine I may not have gained at all.

During the trip up and back, which is 10 hours by car I found it most difficult to make good choices because those choices are so limited. Not being one who wants to waste time stopping and eating, I mainly grab fast food--and order stuff I can eat while driving without making a mess of my clothes and the car. Hence no grilled chicken sandwiches---those are two fisted eats. I find that the chicken breast has a tendency to “squeeze” out like a slippery bathed baby or a greased pig. The regular cheeseburger or hamburger or even the chicken nuggets seem to be easiest and if I’m really hungry---and who isn’t when you’re riding in the car basically bored--I add some fries minus the catsup…all downed by a large caffeine laden drink so I won’t fall asleep at the wheel.

Breakfast is always a sausage biscuit plus coffee for the caffeine. I never eat those at home for several obvious reasons---so I look forward to them when I travel. To get some fruit in I usually grab an orange juice--easy to drink and drive--- despite the high calories and lack of fiber. Hey---we don’t live in a perfect world. In a perfect world all the fast food would be healthy, at least in my world it would be. Fruit and yogurt is out because eating anything that requires utensils is less than safe. Missing my mouth and having food end up in my lap could be so distracting that I might run off the road and end up in a ditch or worse….dead or maimed for life….none of which is what I consider “healthy”. So for “health’s” sake I go with the juice.

So I was riding along and thinking--you have lots of time to think when traveling alone by car for 10 hours--how could I minimize the damage with my fast food choices. That’s when Art Linkletter came to mind.

Mainly I remember him for his show “Kids Say the Darn'dest Things” back in the day. And, only God knows why, but also for his answer when asked how he lost some weight. His answer---I ate as I always do, I just cut everything in half.

Now that works if you basically eat the same thing everyday. But if you’re like me, it’s kind of hard to know how much half is…half of what you would eat? or should eat? Without any absolute eating patterns eating half won’t work for me.

Continuing to ponder I came up with my own take. Mind you also--for me to leave half of anything is a no go. Guess it’s all those years of being taught “waste not, want not” and “there are starving children in China”--- there’s no way I’m throwing out half of the food I order.

Here’s what I came up with. Lets use a burger as an example. Say it has 400 calories. One fourth of that burger is 100 calories. Now if I leave ¼ I’ve just saved 100 calories. Or I could leave 1/8 and save 50 calories. I could do the same with my fries. Those multiples of 50 or 100 add up to some pretty hefty calorie savings.

Leaving a fourth or eighth is doable for me. Leaving an 1/8 of my “small in size but high in calories” burger is like leaving a bite. That I can handle…but no way can I leave a half…unless that sucker is gigantic. And if I’m really hungry I’m not likely to be able to quit after eating 3/4s of a small burger….so leaving an 1/8 is ideal.

If I can “save” 100 calories at each of 3 meals and 2 snacks in a day, that adds up to 500 calories saved. And that computes to 3500 over a week which translates into one pound....either not gained, or possibly lost. At any rate, even saving 100 calories a day will result in preventing a gain of 10 pounds over a year or possibly an effortless loss of 10 pounds.

Bottom line: When I find myself in a calorie dense or food wise dangerous situation, if I only go for the foods I want, crave, can’t get routinely in the parameter of tasting good enough to continue eating and couple that with leaving 1/8 or ¼ of any or all of the choices, I should pretty much be able to eat what I want without feeling deprived and without having to count calories, which is often hard to do away from home. Those actions plus the element of eating just until full should allow me to eat, enjoy and minimize the damage.
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Summary: Strategy for eating in dangerous food situations when it is tempting to eat mindlessly

+++Choose what you want

+++Choose what you crave

+++Choose what you can’t routinely get

+++Eat your choices only if the taste justifies it…if you take a couple of bites and it doesn’t taste good, stop eating that particular food…replace it with something else if desired

+++Leave 1/8 of one or more of your choices on your plate

+++Stop eating when you feel full in the stomach so you won’t be overfull and miserable
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Here’s a salad I threw together today: Raw broccoli: about a cup; Red onion: diced, amount to taste; Red bell pepper: maybe a ¼ cup: 4-5 black olives

Toss this with one tablespoon of Annie’s Goddess Dressing mixed with a heaping teaspoon of honey.

This offers lots of chew, good nutrition and eye appeal. I ate this with a single serve pizza. The pizza had 420 calories. When I was halfway through the pizza I was feeling like I was reaching the full mark, so I decided to leave ¼…but it tasted good and I didn’t want to stop---there goes that eating because it tastes good “devil“--- so I left just an 1/8.

That behavior allowed me to save 52.5 calories and I never missed that last big bite. Since I was home I broke off the crust and ate the best parts. I weighed what was to be left behind so I’d be sure to leave 1/8. And best of all----- I didn’t feel deprived.

The Hunger Scale in Action

Below it a real life play by play of the hunger scale in action--I’m the person doing the assessing and eating.
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I find myself wanting to eat. I stop and do a “stomach hunger” check. Where am I on the hunger scale? I find I’m at a 3. That means I am truly hungry.


I think about what I really would like to eat. It’s noon and I decide upon a peanut butter sandwich, a carrot and a nectarine with a glass of milk. My meal consists of some dairy, some protein, some fat, some fruit, some veg.. It has a good macro nutrient balance--that’s to honor my health. But I might have had some potato chips just as well, had I desired them. Today I didn’t desire them. (Good thing too since there were none available.) Now if had wanted pizza I would have had that…or a hot dog..or a hamburger…you get the idea. I chose what I desired today. And since this is an actual happening I’m reporting what I’m actually eating and doing.


My portion of each food is prepared (by me!) and sets before me. How much will I eat--the whole portion? Not necessarily. I may eat more, I may eat less. The amount remains to be determined. I have given myself permission to eat until I am full. I have given myself permission to leave some food if the prepared amount is too much…as well, I may add to the portion should I find myself still hungry when it is gone. No stress here…no limitations, no restrictions, no feelings of deprivation.


I take note again, as I begin eating, where my hunger is on the scale. Getting closer to a 2 now. I begin to eat. Periodically I assess my hunger level…am I nearing neutral (5), where I am no longer hungry, but yet not full? And taste…does the food really taste good to me? If it doesn’t taste good I’m certainly not going to eat it if there is anything else available. Eating food that does not taste good may fill me, but it won’t satisfy me. Food satisfaction is very important when/where choices exist. Were I living in a third world country and all I had was a bowl of rice--well then I wouldn’t have any choice. But it wouldn’t be a problem…because there wouldn’t be food I could go foraging for and devour after I finished my meager bowl of rice.


I continue to eat, periodically assessing my hunger/fullness level knowing this: I don’t have to stop---that I may, should I desire, eat past the fullness level--- as in overeat. But--and this is the big but--- why would I do that when I can eat what I want, when I want, in the quantity I want?


Now I’m at a 7 on the scale and I’m feeling full. Taking a moment to assess slows my eating down a tad and gives my body a chance to get the “full” message to my brain. I also note: that peanut butter sandwich tasted really good when I started eating it but it’s not tasting that great now---do I really want those last 2 bites? And the carrots…they’re o.k. now too..but not great…maybe I’ll stop here. And I still have my nectarine. Think I’ll save it until later…when I’m hungry again. Being thirsty, I decide to finish the last few swallows of milk in my glass and then I call it quits. I’m full.
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BTW: I put 2 tablespoons of peanut butter on my sandwich! It’s organic and a good fat to boot. The rest of my meal contained minimal amounts of fat. Note though, I’m not restricting fat---just pointing out that I chose my meal based on what sounded good and my choices today were good. Some days they may not be as good from a health standard, but if they are what I’m craving, what I’m desiring, I will be less likely to overindulge. And I believe that over a day or two or three my food choices will promote health and nourish my body. That’s the IE way of thinking and living.

Follow up: Since I was running errands following lunch I took my nectarine with me. I got hungry later and ate it in my car sitting in the parking lot of Kroger’s before I went in to do my shopping. Might I add that it was juicy, sweet and delicious! Good thing I had some napkins and wet wipes in the car.

The Paradox

You tell me I can’t do something, and immediately my response is “just watch me”. I may not say it aloud, but I’ll think it for certain. That is pretty much the nature of mankind.

New Years 2007 I banished the "food police" and gave myself permission to eat the “forbidden foods” --like hot dogs. And guess what? They lost their appeal. Actually, hot dogs don’t taste very good to me--not like I’d remembered them (when I wasn’t allowing myself to eat, or at least enjoy eating, them).

Fast forward to the present. Having read the book Intuitive Eating I decided to give myself permission to eat when I was hungry and use physiological fullness as the stopping point instead of calorie restriction.

The result? I’m not hungry all the time. I’m not eating more than I did previously…in many cases I’m eating less. What happened to that constant hunger?

My assumption is that in large part it was driven by emotion…desire---wanting what I wasn’t supposed to have…wanting to satisfy my appetite--my hunger-- and not being allowed to do so…all which served to keep me from being filled and kept me in a constant state of hunger.

Will this last? I don‘t know. But I hope so. Having restricted myself, or having the thinking that I must restrict myself, has been a part of my psyche for so long, that I still at times must work to overcome that thinking, to rid myself of that mentality. I find the minute that old thinking creeps back in, I desire more food.

I‘ll keep you posted on how I‘m faring with the Intuitive Eating way of life. I haven‘t regained any of the 15 pounds I‘ve lost after following IE for about 10 days now…we‘ll see if I continue to lose.

In the meantime it feels so good…as if another burden has been lifted. And it feels like I can get on with the rest of my life…focusing on things besides food--what I‘ll eat, when I‘ll eat, where I‘ll eat, how much I‘ll eat… (need I say more?).
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For another blogger's review of Intuitive Eating go here....

Intuitive Eating

I'm currently reading the book Intuitive Eating. I decided to do so because much of what it teaches concurs with many of the changes I made beginning in January 2007 in order to transform my relationship with food. Here I'm sharing an excerpt that I think covers an issue we all, who "diet", deal with.

"We have become a nation riddled with guilt about how we eat. Even non dieters experience eating angst."

"The thought of stealing or lying would instill a sense of guilt in most people. Yet, most dieters are able to create an equivalent level of guilt when they've eaten french fries or a hot fudge sundae. The quantity of any of these "bad" foods has almost nothing to do with the level of despair that is felt when they are eaten. The first bite often evokes a sense of having failed or being bad. Wanting a "bad" or "illegal" food then becomes a morality issue. The subsequent guilt that builds is enough to initiate a period of overeating that can destroy any previous successful weight loss." Copied : page 93-94 of Intuitive Eating

The authors explain that the act of rebelling against a personal belief, as in "cookies are bad" or "I shouldn't eat that" can make us feel like we are out of control. (That's when the panic, at least for me, sets in!) Once the (food) rebellion is unleashed its intensity reinforces feelings of lack of control and the belief: you don't possess willpower! You drown in a sea of self-doubt and shame. In other words, rebellious eating equals "forget you eating" (implying "I'll do as I darn well please and the consequences be @##X*@".

I've found this to be true in my own life and self defeating. That is why I finally understood that I must change the way I "thought" about food. (A person's way of thinking/believing leads to his way of acting/behavior. The ancient writings contained in the Bible teach us that "as a man/woman thinketh, in his heart so is he." )

What to do? How can I...how can we end this destructive cycle? Is is possible to end it? I believe it is because I've been doing it for over a year now and it has made a huge difference in me being able to slowly accomplish my goal of losing 20 pounds.

My suggestion is that you run, don't walk, to the nearest book store or library and obtain a copy of this book. In the meantime you can do what I did on January 1, 2007 for my New Year's resolution: give yourself permission to eat any food you like. Rid yourself of the "banished" food list. You may find as I, that initially you'll be eating those foods that have been forbidden---possibly quite often .... and you'll have to tell the "voices" (not literal) in your head to "shut up" when they declare you "bad, bad, bad!"..... but in time it will get easier and the dynamic will change: those foods will not be nearly as desirable as they were when forbidden.

Getting free from the bondage of food do's and dont's is the first step to putting yourself on the path of eating normally, possibly for the first time since you were a baby: eating when you were hungry, stopping when you had eaten the amount of food your body needed for sustenance.

The book: Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole, M.S., R.D and Elyse Resch, M.S., R.d, F.A.D.A.
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I "speak" as one who has lost 50 pounds twice, and regained it twice. For years I considered myself fat (even when I was not fat) and suffered food angst every time I ate...every morsel of food I put into my mouth became "bad" in some way: too much fat, saturated fat, too many calories, not enough nutrients, cancer causing preservatives, too many carbs, the wrong omega balance, not enough protein, not enough fiber, yadda, yadda, yadda.

Eventually I got to the point where I could not budge the weight off. And I was fed up, disgusted and assumed I'd be "fat" the rest of my life (for now I truly was "fat"). But I tried one more time, and discovered a better way. Believe me---losing 20 pounds slowly is no easy feat. But I am convinced I will keep this weight off forever. And that's the goal... isn't it?

Dealing With The Hunger Obstacle

I weighed today and discovered I've lost another .9 pounds. That puts my total loss since the end of September 2007 at 13 pounds. Yay!! Slow going, I know, but better than not losing at all, or worse, gaining.

In my previous post I wrote about two of my big diet obstacles that hindered me losing. The hunger issue is always a biggie and usually a deal breaker for a lot of people.

The biggest mistake I made, and I believe many make, is going too low calorie wise. A good diet plan will tell you to keep track of what you normally eat for several days, take an average of your calorie intake, then reduce that amount by 500 calories per day to lose a pound a week on average. And most caution you to never go below 1200 calories.

So what did I do? Skipped that step and went right to the 1200 calories thinking I'd get my losing done pronto and then go back to eating "normally". Whoa...normal meant gaining weight up to a set point that was way higher than I wanted to be and probably should be. (Note: On Weight Watchers my weight slotted me in the lowest points range--on which I was starving all the time.)

After years of repeating this same failure and, as would be expected, getting the same result, I decided eating a little more would be better---I could last longer...endure---stay the course.

I settled on 1600 calories a day. Mind you, I'm just 5"3" and only get light activity routinely. But guess what? I've been slowly but surely losing weight.

That being said I must tell you that the foods that comprise the 1600 calories can hugely impact hunger. Foods that satiate vary from person to person, so you'll need to figure out what "fills" and satisfies you.

But here's what I've found works best for me. At each meal I have a small amount of protein, a small amount of healthy fat, and the rest is carbs...lots of the high fiber, slow to digest ones.

That fiber stays in my stomach longer and as a result, the hormone that signals hunger is not released. This explanation is pretty simplistic and you may want to Google it and get a more detailed explanation of how your body works when it comes to food and hunger.

A great side benefit of eating high fiber complex carbs is that besides being very filling they are generally low in fat and calories.

It took me awhile to figure out the combination that worked best to stave off my hunger. Initially I thought eating lots of protein was the key. Then I upped my fat intake to around 40% which meant I had to lower my carb intake to stay in my 1600 calorie range.

The point is---keep tweaking what you are eating until you find the combination of macro nutrients that help you keep from being hungry.

Eating vs Dieting

I read a good post today at Weight Loss Without Worry and want to direct you to it. Click here for some helpful insight.

What Dr. Becky points out on her website about our issues of food and control have been some of my issues. Thinking I had no control over food just led me to give up. Demonising categories of food and restricting them made them more desirable to me. That is something I had to "kick out" of my thinking.

Not dealing with the mental and emotional "things" that spur us to eat can keep us from getting a handle on our real eating issues. And while the common issue that eating more calories than we use will make us store fat in our body is true, our personal issues that dictate our own eating habits are varied and unique to each one of us.

While most have a difficult time getting rid of excess body fat, some appear to have an easier time of it. Perhaps they've figured out some things others of us haven't. There are however many variables that figure into the equation...and hence we must each work toward cracking our own code.

CAN RAMBLING AND MUSING LEAD TO A SOLUTION? READ ON AND FIND OUT.....

RAMBLING
February was a pretty tough month for me...lots of "specials"......40 year anniversary, Valentines day...."no malignancy" biopsy result which definitely requires celebrating. I was fine with it all too. I was maintaining my 10 pound loss. While losing is the goal, maintaining the loss is the bigger issue.

Now we're into March and nothing happening until later in the month---my birthday and then there is Easter too....my favorite holiday.

I seem to be hungrier than usual most days now. Don't know if it's due to the excesses of February or what is causing it, but most days I'm eating on average a hundred calories above my allowance. And even with that additional 100 calories I'm finding myself to be very hungry.

In fact yesterday I hit it out of the ball park to the tune of 2200 calories. Just could not get filled up. In the past that would have panicked me. But while it no longer does, I'm just trying to get a handle as to what is going on. I think everyone experiences these periods of being hungrier than normal.

To offset yesterdays excess and to try and get a handle on the situation I'm trying to hold today's calorie intake to 1400, which is 200 less than my allotment.

But let me tell you....as I sit here typing this post I am starving. I ate a pear about an hour ago. But I could eat a horse right now. It is a sheer battle of the will for me....trying to make it until bedtime without eating again.

Lately I haven't been getting much sleep and this could figure into my problem. On average I've only been getting around 6 hours a night, and then with the time change, my body clock is "upset". I never do well when we "spring" forward. In fact, it takes the "spring" right out of my steps.

Today I did get out---it was finally warm enough---and walk/run for 30 minutes...the first and last 5 minutes being my warm up/cool down. Let me tell you---my feet are feeling it. This is the first serious exercise I've done in about a year due to the tendinitis. Hopefully it is healed.

I plan to do the walk/run every other day. According to what I've read this should minimize injury.

My main goal right now is to maintain the 10 pound loss....and keep moving forward to losing more.

Musing

I've read on-line that it is common with weight loss to have plateaus. We've all experienced those. But I read that the third plateau most dieters experience can last from a month to 12 months. That got me to thinking.

The first time I lost 50 pounds I had a couple of short lived plateaus fairly early on, lasting a few days. Then about 7-8 months in I had a plateau that lasted several weeks. I remember being very discouraged and lamenting to my husband. At that point I'd lost 32 pounds. It seemed the weight just wouldn't budge.

I'm in about 5 1/2 months this time. Due to eating a higher amount of calories my weight loss is only about 1/2 a pound a week on average, or two pounds a month which is fine by me. I'm only desiring to lose another 10 pounds and at that rate I'll be there in 6 months time.

But I'm wondering if the battle I'm experiencing now is that long term plateau....where it seems your body hangs on, for dear life, to every ounce.

If there is any truth to what I've read, just knowing that this is common would make it easier to just keep following the plan. The plan should work. It's up to me to follow it...to walk the walk.

I'm just wondering what some of you have experienced personally as far as length of time spent on a plateau---how long term was it?

Of late, one thing I've noticed that I haven't experienced in at least a couple years, is a burning sensation in my mouth and tongue often accompanied with a dry mouth. I used to experience this all the time, then it went away. Perhaps I deficient in some vitamin or mineral, although my "diet" is very healthy. I'm getting lots of fruits and veggies. Of note though, I haven't been consuming as much animal protein these past two weeks.

Hmmmm....maybe that's my problem...maybe that's why my hunger level is way up there. Note to self....in the next few days eat more servings of complete protein from animal sources.

Problem solved? Perhaps...time will tell....I'll keep you posted.

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When I got to the end of this post I realized my thoughts were leading me to the solution, perhaps, to my problem of excessive hunger. Whereas I'd been making sure to get 60 grams of animal protein daily, of late--- about the past two weeks---I've been eating mainly vegetarian meals.

When it comes to keeping a food journal I've never been one to include my thoughts and feelings at various times of the day in connection to meals and eating.

But after having just rambled on and possibly hitting on what my problem is, I'm seeing the benefit of doing more in my food journal than just writing down the name of the food I ate and how many calories it contained.

On another note, let me say here trying to lose 20 pounds has proven as hard as losing 50 pounds. It seems my body doesn't want to give it up. It would be so easy to think, oh well---it's just 20 pounds----no big deal.

But it is a big deal---20 becomes 50 in a blink of the eye. Whether you have a 100 pounds, or 50 or twenty, or ten---we're all in the same boat. Daily, making the decision to persevere when the going gets tough...or to call it quits..... is an ongoing battle and struggle. Lets all hang tough and get the job done.

Escape Routes

I was stuffed until I switched the TV channel and the program was “All Star Chocolate” on the Food Network. A chocolate craving set in. What’s that all about?

Well for one thing it’s marketing. Those who have something to sell must figure out what it will take to get us to buy it. They know we must first desire it before we will buy it.

That which we can’t “see” won’t be desired. Hence the visual image is the first wave of attack. They know once we see it, they’ve got our attention.

The power of marketing through the media of suggestion is ever present. It can catch us off guard when we are not even hungry. BAM! Whatever is being proffered is the thing we must have lest we die.

What is the solution to this dilemma? We’re in this world and can’t leave it. So, we must live with the dilemma. To survive, we must decide on a strategy. How do we deal with the temptation?

Well, Eve, in the garden, had to deal with the same. The tempter whispered in her ear, taunting her concerning the forbidden fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. He planted thoughts in her head that were not true. He deceived her and she soon believed that God was withholding something good from her and Adam.

She soon was picking the forbidden fruit and serving it to Adam and they both did eat. BAM! From that one act of willful disobedience judgment was passed upon the whole world.

I think if we examined what happened to Eve and how she could have handled things differently we would see how we should respond when we are tempted.

When the tempter, Satan, came to Eve and whispered in her ear, he told her lies. She listened to the lies, believed the lies and then she succumbed. Her way of thinking/believing led to her way of acting/behavior.

What if she had rejected those lies with the truth? What if she had said to the tempter: “I don’t need that fruit because if that fruit were necessary for my welfare God would not forbid it because God is love and always has my and Adam’s best interest at heart.

I imagine that having rejected the lies and countering the lies with truth, she would not have picked the fruit and served it to Adam and they would not have eaten and the world would not have “fallen” that day.

We might apply this same principle when we are tempted.

Note the progression of temptation: first comes the knowledge of the thing--seeing it, hearing about it; then comes the believing that the implied message is true; then comes the wanting/desire. Unless we resist this desire, we will stumble, we will fall.

At the point of temptation the only way of escape is a truth encounter. When we are desiring the thing, wanting to experience it, to “taste“ it per se, because we believe it will be good, we can say to ourselves: “self--it may “taste” good, but tomorrow you will be tasting regret; “tasting” this desired thing will hurt you---like a serpent it will bite you and the result will be death---the death of your goal, the death of your dream.”

If we don’t avail ourselves of this way of escape, we will find ourselves doing as Eve.

In the case of my desiring chocolate, having seen it on TV and believing it would be good to eat, I would progress from that profound desire to looking through the cabinets and pantry for some chocolate anything. Should I find some, having it in my hands, it will be even harder to resist, and once having tasted it, having put it into my mouth, I will have great difficulty limiting how much of it I eat.

For me, today, my escape is writing this post. As I sit here typing these words I am having a truth encounter. And I find it easy to resist getting up and scrounging for chocolate.

As Lady Macbeth said “out damned spot” I say “out damned chocolate”. I will not eat you today. Someday, but not today. And when I do it will be because I decided and not some marketer.
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In the New Testament Jesus Christ said “ye shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free”. Truth will free us from bondage, whatever that bondage might be. Truth begins with our mind, with our thinking.

The apostle Paul in the letter to the Romans says to be transformed “by the renewing of your mind”. Hence transformation begins with the mind, whether that transformation concerns our relationship to food or to God.

Because we are constantly being bombarded with all manner of "stuff" coming in, we must also constantly renew our mind, by examining if that which is coming in is truth or error.

Jesus also said "There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it." I Corinthians 10:13

There is an escape, a way out when we are tempted by food. Often it is shown to us and we don't avail ourselves of it.

How many of us have been shopping and picked up something and put it in our cart all the while thinking "I shouldn't buy that". Right then...right there...in that moment in time, is our escape route. The minute that thought surfaces, the way of escape surfaces: put it back on the shelf.

All too often, we don't ...instead we succumb to the temptation, deciding in our mind not to resist. We think "but I want it". We ignore the escape route.

Should we decide to go ahead and purchase that item, let it be because we've made a deliberate clearly thought out choice. Let it be our own personal conviction, and not the power of suggestion---like seeing the food on the store shelf---- that befalls us seemingly at every turning point.

And let me say here, when we do have such a thought: "I shouldn't buy this"....when it comes to food, let us ask ourselves why? All too often I've discovered I have mental issues I need to deal with....issues where I am off balanced in my thinking and relationship with food.

As I've examined my thinking I've had to re-evaluate some of my perceptions about food. Some were erroneous...and I was in bondage to that error unnecessarily. My thinking "I shouldn't buy this" was unfounded.

When I started my most recent weight loss effort, I realized a lot of my issues had a mental connection. While it is true that excess calories will make me fat, there is more to it than me just cutting back on my food take.

It is no easier for me to cut back on my food intake---to just quit eating---than it is for an anorexic person to eat. The world doesn't seem to have a problem accepting that...that an anorexic person can't eat. The world doesn't understand it, yet they accept it, and are even compassionate toward that poor soul who can't eat.

But when it comes to those of us who can't stop eating, we get no compassion...only harsh judgement, and we are often deemed as big fat pigs. It's a shame I think that society is so harsh and judges those who are hefty to be undisciplined and lazy.

I have a post I'm working on explaining why I believe there is an emotional connection to overeating in cases where excess weight is in the range of 30 or more pounds. You might say I had a "duh" moment----the kind where you slap yourself up side the head and think "you idiot' how could you have missed "seeing" this---quite unlike the "light bulb" moment where you think "wow" and are awed by the new found understanding.