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The Learning Curve

I guess I am a slow learner.

Having finally realized there is a learning curve for everything, I am free from the bondage of perfection.

Looking back I can see now that I gave up too quickly on many things.

Things that I've since returned to and found to be wonderful.

I missed out on them all these years.

The upside to my perfection is that I didn't continue to struggle with things for the wrong reason.

Sometimes the wisest thing you can do is 'give up'.

Having the wisdom to discern is key.

So treat yourself like a well loved friend or child.

I am often a cheerleader or offer the figurative cup of cold water to people in my life or who cross my path.

Giving myself the same kind treatment is a positive thing.

Give it a try.  You just might be amazed in the difference it can make in your life.

Need Some Crafting Inspiration?

|SPARK| from Jmills ENT. Jeremy Miller on Vimeo.

What have I been up to?

Crafting goodness.

Crocheting dingly birds Attic24 style.

And lucky owls Amigurumi style.

And teeny tiny winter scarfs for teeny tiny objects.

And lots of flowers--to pin on hats and purses and crocheted vines which will become bunting.

And rubber stamping-- making cards... and matchboxes to hold eye candy.

And I have more projects.  So many projects, so little time.

Hope your summer has been full of goodness and fun.

My Word For 2011

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PURSUE

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as in

1. To be engaged in (a vocation or hobby, life)

2.  To proceed along the course of; to  follow

3.To follow after

4. To carry on; continue.

5. To carry further; advance

6. To accomplish

Good Scale/Bad Scale

 Edit:  I took down the link to Margie's blog in my sidebar.  She and her husband were both  tragically killed while out walking when hit by a car.  The driver of the car says he was trying to kill himself--his girlfriend had broken up with him that morning. He lived and is fine.  His was a selfish act.  Margie will be missed by her blogging friends.

When it comes to the scale, the digital food scale is a good thing.  It will help you correctly portion your food so that you can keep your food intake in line with your goals.

But the other kind of scale, the one you step on to weigh yourself, I have mixed feelings about it.  Weighing most of your food, is probably a good thing--especially when it comes to calorie dense foods.

However, weighing yourself daily or several times a day can be problematic for many.  Due to the fluid fluctuations in your body it is hard to tell if you have a true fat gain or loss.

That information can be self defeating.

If the scale is up, I am discouraged.  If it is down I am ecstatic and I may let down my guard.

Or I may reward myself and eat something that I'd have never considered eating that day.

Or I may be obsessive--thinking 'wow I'm on a roll'-- and eat even less food, hoping I'll reach my weight loss goal faster--get out of the diet misery-- and end up with a double whammy.

By eating less to speed things up, I may-- before the day is done-- end up binging because I've gotten too hungry.  On the heels of that--at my next weigh in--if I find I haven't lost or even worse I've gained--horror of horrors-- I'm am all the more disappointed.  Bam Bam, double wham.

It could be the nail in the coffin, the final straw.

So, for me, it's best I use the digital food scale daily.  But the bathroom scale I limit to  every 7-10 days when I'm on a weight loss diet.

Some of you are able to handle the daily weigh in--because you are looking at the pattern of ups and downs and getting the overall larger picture. Margie who blogs at My Healthy Living Through Weight Control comes to mind (link in the sidebar).  She weighs daily and has been very successful maintaining her weight loss.

But for many of us who are still trying to lose weight, the number on the scale in the moment holds too much power.

Once I reach my goal--3 pounds from now--my strategy will change.

I will continue to check my portions with the food scale daily.

But I will weigh my body more often too.  Every 3-4 days I think.  If the scale is up after two consecutive 3-4 day period weigh ins, I will immediately attack the problem.  I'd prefer to keep any gain to <5.

The time to be 'scared straight' is early on, when it is easy to repair the damage.

Been Bitten By the Bug

The flu bug that is. Feeling miserable.  Will be well eventually.  In the meantime keeping sight of my weigh-loss goals.  The scale finally moved down another pound for a total of 24 lost.

I'm 3 pounds away from my first goal and have a second set.  To reach the second I'd have to lose an additional 4 pounds.  Both are doable.  It is within my power to succeed.  And I will.

It's too easy to drop the ball and lose the game.  Keeping our eyes on the prize and holding self accountable and giving ourselves a good swift kick in the rear is key to winning.

Making excuses is just a cop out.  We don't like and don't want to hear that.  But it is truth.

So be kind to yourself and hold yourself accountable.  Your nice friends won't--they don't want to make you feel bad.  Do for yourself what others can't or won't do.

Just do it.

It's just as hard for me to lose weight as the next guy.  Having to curtail your food intake sucks.  So what?

Having reached my 'advanced' age--I'm not 'that' old--I no longer suffer fools gladly.  And that includes myself.

How long can I go on making excuses?  My days on this earth are limited.  So are yours.

What's it gonna be?  Looking back full of regret?  Or looking back having run the race with patience.

It's totally your decision.  Yours and yours alone.  But you--as I-- will have to live with it.  And don't expect much sympathy in the end if you had opportunity but messed it up because you indulged yourself.

How's that for some tough love?

Weightloss Update

Down 15 pounds.  Yay me.

I feel like I've found the magic bullet.  Of course there is no magic bullet.  But when one struggles to achieve a goal-- falling down, it seems, a million times-- to finally 'walk' feels like a miracle.

The take away is this:

When you try to lose and can't, you have to figure out why and what.  Why aren't you losing.  What is going on?

Our individual bodies are unique.  What works best for one may not work for another.  And different stages of life require different approaches too.

For me eating 'small' several times a day; eating less fat; not restricting any food--instead putting it on the 'eat once in awhile'  list;  eating adequate protein and fiber at mealtime and snack time; those are the strategies that have worked for me.

If you think it is hopeless, that nothing works, don't give up.  Keep trying.  Eventually you will discover what does work and experience your own miracle.

Note:  If you've been dieting for years with little success and much frustration it may be time to take a break from dieting and read the book Intuitive Eating.  Reading that book helped me begin to unravel the lifelong muddle of  lose and regain.

Update

Not much to say here.  Still eating healthy and losing, albeit slowly.  Had some special eating including Mother's Day.  But the scale is going down, down, down, in two tenths increments...I don't count it though until it is a full pound, so I'm still at 11 pounds though I've lost more than 11...should be at 12 soon.

The thing that surprises me most is that the scale is down each time I weigh.  For the past 7 years it was down, then up considerably, then down, then up.  I kept losing the same pound or two over and over never making any progress.  There was no incentive to continue dieting.

My biggest change this time compared to the recent past is lower caloric intake overall, lots of fiber and trading out some foods for fat free foods.  Guessing my body is burning my fat since I'm cutting out some of the fat.  I still eat good fat, but small portions. 

I've learned to like mustard on my sandwiches as much as I like mayonnaise.  I haven't found a reduced or low fat mayo that is worth eating to me, so I go for the mustard.  Today I had a delicious sandwich for lunch--what could be simpler?--of 2 slices of 50 calorie high fiber bread, an ounce and a half of smoked turkey breast, a wedge of LCL cheese, lettuce, a sprinkling of dill weed and a smear of mustard.  All for 200 calories. 

Planning to report 12 pounds lost very soon.

Short and Sweet

Another two weeks has passed and I've lost two more pounds, for a total of 9 pounds. I will continue as I've been doing for these past 8 weeks. The way I am eating now is the way I will continue to eat 'for life'.

The one thing I have taken away recently is that if I want to be a 'little' woman--as in size--I must eat 'little' food.

Funny isn't it. And profound. The amount of food we eat is relative to the amount of weight we carry. Duh.

Whether we reduce our caloric intake by eating less food or eating less caloric food, the result is the same.

And we would do well to remember the Holocaust survivors when we reach a plateau and stall in our weight loss efforts. Those people existed on a tiny amount of food each day. The survivors were all, every one of them, skin and bone when they were released, which proves that starvation and the metabolic starvation mode our body supposedly enters will not stop weight loss if that starvation continues long term.

If I continue to eat little food in time I will be a little person.

One piece of chocolate. One bite of cake. One small portion of lasagna. A hot dog. Once in awhile. These types of foods can be eaten--if they are eaten infrequently and in small amounts.

I have a pretty good idea that all the 'small' people out there practice a lot of self control when they eat. They don't chow down, scarf the whole lot, pig out. They use reserve and self control--which cost nothing. Which require no special diets or programs.

Reserve and self control are functions of the will. And each one of us has a free will and the ability to exercise it as we wish.

Reserve and self control coupled with some brain power--i.e. using the knowledge we possess to make wise food choices that won't spike our blood sugar and insulin and affect our hunger-- are the key to long term success.

If I fail in this effort to become a 'little' person, it is my own fault. Owning that fact is critical. Blaming my failures on my past--the less than perfect childhood, the hardships and hurts-- is just an excuse, a cop out.

What I Am Learning

"If at first you don't succeed, try try again".

Weight loss is hard.  Maintenance is even harder.

There is always something new to learn, something new to try, good examples to follow.

Cravings:  When I eat very few processed foods my cravings are almost non-existent.

Hunger:  When I eat plenty of fiber my stomach feels fuller faster and takes longer to empty.  It takes less food to fill me up and I don't feel empty very quickly, hence I am able to eat less food and less often.

As a picture is worth a thousand words, a good example is priceless.

I have discovered a good example...someone who has been and continues to be successful losing and keeping her weight off.  I have been reading this blog:  My Healthy Living Through Weight Control .  Here is what I have learned from this blogger:

• Keep it simple.  She and her husband eat simple, easy to prepare foods.
• I have been eating too much food and too much fat overall, hence too many calories.  This blogger is 7 inches taller than I am  and  I was eating twice what she eats in a day,  my exercise is nil while hers is routine--and I was expecting to lose weight.  Doh!

I set myself a goal of 4 weeks to try out the changes that I have incorporated into my eating.  Every change is something I can do 'forever' with minimal fuss, inconvenience or expense.  At the end of 4 weeks I will post my results. 

If you need some insight or a new dose of motivation, head over to My Healthy Living Through Weight Control and read this post: What About That Sandwich?  The blogger makes a lot of good, down to earth points.  That's what we need isn't it?--a down to earth approach?  For sure, it's  what I need .  You can read all your experts and understand the ins and outs of it all, but nothing beats simplicity and a  good old down to earth strategy that works and is workable.

FUN

My new year's resolve was to have fun.  I came across a great quote about fun.  I found it on the Joy Junket Manisfesto.  It says:

FUN IS A SUPER POWER

Mirth energizes.  Laughter heals.

Play transforms lives.

Now go out and have fun.  

If you'd live to visit the Joy Junket blog you can find it by clicking here.

FUN IN TEN

Instead of making resolutions for the new year I resolved to have fun this year. Fun is my byword for 2010. Accompanied by my fun will be beauty--they will go hand in hand. Let fun and beauty reign.

It doesn’t cost a fortune to have a beautiful life. Beautiful things can be had for mere pennies. Some can be had for free.

If you bother to look out a window and take in the vista, there is delight to behold and if you ponder over what you see, wonder may also be part of the experience.

Venture outside and pick a flower or a branch of leaves and bring it into your home. Place it in a clean jelly jar or a favored glass or cup. You do have some fun or lovely glasses and cups don’t you? No? Then remedy that a.s.a.p. If you are going to drink, do it from something that delights your senses. Function does not have to be devoid of beauty and wonderment.

Don’t neglect to beautify the inner person. For out of this inner self springs the fountain of you. Considering what goes in must come out, examine what you are filling yourself with.

Is it that which is lovely, kind, pure, of good report, of praise, of virtue, of mercy, of grace? This goodness will displace whatever makes you ill at ease, causes you discomfort, causes you to distress.

We all live with and must deal with stress. Stress in and of itself is not a bad thing. Dis-tress is the ill, and can make us ill. So if you stress, you are human. If you are distressed you are weighted down, burdened, filled with care.

I love to begin my day with a prayer of thanksgiving, spilling from my heart onto my lips, heavenward--a whisper in God’s ear acknowledging his beneficence. A prayer as simple as breathing--in and out.. Natural--no fancy words or utterances. Just pure, plain and simple. I do not have to cloak my being in words, for God reads my heart. I need not even form my words. He knows me intimately. But he delights in hearing my utterances which are a testament of my belief, of my faith.

A good cup of coffee--or tea, a candle lighted to dispel any darkness or gloom, and music to soothe my soul--all these are good things, a good beginning to prepare oneself for inner beautification. A hefty dose of the Rx for all that ails me--meditating on, reading of God’s word--the Bible--which is his revelation of himself, his promises, his statutes and declarations--is medicine for the soul. It is the mirror. What shall I see in its reflection. A mask? Or the real me, uncovered, bare, devoid of pretense?

Attending to the needs of the day--the urgent and the important--with a slow grace, one that acknowledges all is ultimately in God’s hands--he is my pilot--allows me to function with grace and ease, full of joy and peace. I am his passenger, along for the ride, the journey, the adventure of a lifetime, my life.

This is the stuff of life--the abundant life--promised by Jesus who said he came to give us ‘life, abundant life’. He came not to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved.

Take, drink, feast, delight. His yoke is easy, his burden is light. Learn of him. He is life. Abundant life, beautiful and free.

I know of no other way that is as wonderful. Is your life wonderful? Are you really living?

There is time and way to make change. Begin now. Make haste. Life is fleeting. Put the cup to your lips. Taste and see that the Lord is good, life is good. Change what you can; accept even embrace what you can’t change. This is your lot, you assignment, part of your unique curriculum. Don’t envy others their lot. For it was designed especially for them by their Creator. He doeth all things well.

Now, pass it on--share your joy, your love, your fun, your beauty and see how it grows and multiplies, becoming more than you ever dreamed or imagined. To life! To love! To joy! To beauty! To fun! And praise be to God from whom ALL blessings flow. Amen.

Picture Me Shouting

What and at whom am I shouting? I'm shouting at myself and this is what I'm screaming: "CUT THE CRAP!!!"
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Before you read any further I want to insert here: I'd decided not to post this--because it is so negative, and Lord knows, we all have enough negativity--we certainly don't need more. But...since I've written this I've gotten some new insight--which I'll share later, along with that veggie rice recipe I mentioned a while back--so I'm feeling better about it all. Read on.
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I'm really stalled with the weight loss...in fact according to the scale I've gained an additional 2-3 pounds...making me a total of approximately 7 pounds above my pre-vacation/Labor day weight.

To give you some insight to what I'm feeling I'm posting the comment I was going to leave in answer to a question Lyn posed on her blog recently. Click here to read Lyn's whole post.

Lyn asked this: Which camp do you fall into?

a) I will stick to healthy eating, work hard, and try to lose weight in December

b)I will make a half hearted attempt to control myself and hope to maintain or not gain too much

c) The heck with it, I give up, I am eating everything in sight and then I will begin fresh with renewed vigor on January first.

This is the comment I was going to leave but it was so lengthy I decided to publish it here instead. Here goes:

I'm a 'B'. I have dieted and lost through too many holidays to only gain it back at some point. I know I could stick it out (as in stay on a diet/plan through the holidays) and lose some weight, but right now my mindset is "why bother" when my history for the past 20 years is the regain always happens.. five years out, two years out.

It just feels like I'm fighting a battle that can't ever really be won. And everywhere I look-- for the most part-- I see the same result with everyone else...they regain too. The only exception might be those who exercise to the point of almost being what seems obsessive to me. I'm betting if they ever stop exercising they will balloon up too. Mind you, I'm not criticizing you if you exercise a lot--in fact I envy your determination and dedication. And I'm becoming a firm believer that regular exercise is key to weight loss and maintenance. So, I'm saying, you're likely not obsessive--but wise.

For me to exercise an hour every day I would have to be obsessive about it. I'd have to take the stance that nothing and nobody is going to hinder me. But that's not me. Could it ever become me? That--I don't know. Every time I get 'set' into a regular exercise routine something out of my control comes along and sabotages it.

So I guess it boils down to being me or being a person who is totally not someone I've ever been. And I'm thinking it is too late and I'm too old to change.

Sorry to be so negative but it's what I'm thinking and feeling. I know weight loss is not hopeless, but short of (it seems to me) being vigilant 24/7 for life there's no real fix. And I don't know anyone who can be 'on' for 24/7/life.

I've invested more hours than I care to add up tracking every morsel I put into my mouth. And for what? I'm no healthier for it. I feel doomed to be 'fat'. I mainly feel frustration over it all.

Fat seems to be my story, my life, my destiny. And lest you think I'm huge, I'm not. But I might as well be.

If I lost 10 pounds it would be great. Another 10 would be perfect...I'd be right where I need to be.

You'd think a person could lose 10 pounds or even 20--but it's just not that easy. I've lost 50 pounds twice, so what gives?

My greater dilemma is that I can't quit for fear of getting bigger--I've been bigger. But I just get tired of losing the same pounds over and over.

Is there anyone else out there that feels as dismal as I do? What have you done, what are you doing to deal with it?

This lose, maintain, regain repeat process is getting real old. I feel like my whole life revolves around what I will eat, what I won't eat, what I can eat. But there is so much more to life than eating. It seems I can't get past that as the focus of my life.

Sad isn't it? A whole life spent examining the how/what/when/where/why of eating as it pertains to weight loss.

I guess I'm just the spirit of "bah humbug".

Hopefully I'll get a new attitude and soon.

Post 'post' comment: I have a better attitude since I wrote this--will share more later.

THE LEARNING CURVE

I'd say I'm in a rut. A rut, as described by an acquaintance, is a grave with the ends kicked out. I've been running up and down my current rut since the middle of September. A couple weeks ago I lost some of my vacation/Labor day gain by watching my fat intake but that was short lived. So, here I am, still running the rut.

In years past, that rut got really dark..it was a deep rut. But things have changed. Granted I'm in a rut, but I have hopes and intentions of climbing out.

Here's the thing. Even though I don't appear to be making any headway on the scale, as in moving closer to my goal, I have made major progress. I've come to this point in my thinking: quitting is no longer an option.

All my life, when I'd be unsuccessful in my weight loss efforts, I'd reach a really hard place and I'd quit---just give up, throw in the towel and eat, eat, eat. If the scale wasn't moving down I'd think " I'm not going to restrict my food intake--what's the point?". Likely, in my frustration and discouragement, I even ate food I didn't want--just because I "could". Having thrown off the diet I was free. Having no diet restricting me equals no restraint. And I exercised none.

The thing that is different now---that has changed ---is my thinking. When I quit the diet mentality and began to rethink my relationship with food I entered a new phase. In this phase quitting is not an option. There's nothing to quit.

Once I realized that my problem is eating too much food calorie wise I also discovered the solution. And that solution is to eat less food. Some days that is not so easy. Diets don't work. So, what does work? It's this: understanding that giving up is not an option.

In the past I was able to just quit. Now I can't. Why?

I have ever present in my head, these reminders: the miserable feeling I get when my gut is stuffed; the loathing and self recrimination that will follow; the clothing in my wardrobe that I won't be able to wear; the sadness that I can't "overcome" my problem, that once again I've given in; the loss of joy because I'm unable to enjoy the food I'm eating because fluttering around the edges of my thinking are the reminders personified-- whispering loudly the "you'll be sorry" message.

This host of thoughts, one might even call it the voice of reason, has become the restrainer. "It" speaks to me--and "it" doesn't go away. "It" hounds me so to speak. "It" won't get off my back, won't leave me alone. The diet, I could quit, toss in the trash. But the voice of reason? It presses me, presses in, forces me to face the consequences of my choices and it won't relent. Once reckoned, it can't be escaped.

It appears I'm connecting the dots ...that overeating leads to things I don't want. I always knew that--the knowledge was there in my head--but it had little effect. It was a case of knowing a thing, but it not mattering when it came right down to it. Because it was only the possibility, not the reality. The change now is that I'm able imagine, to feel, to experience the awfulness of those unwanted consequences without having done the deed.

So quitting is no longer an option. It's off the table--the burden of the result should I quit is more than I can bear. Therefore I trudge ahead, with the belief that as I persevere I will figure it out, and eventually I will progress downward on the scale.

BECAUSE I WON'T GO BACK "THERE" MY ONLY OPTION IS TO MOVE FORWARD

Catching Up

Just checking in from fall break for a brief update. I’m enjoying the respite and the season….watching lots of fun but not too scary stuff--like It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown, Scared Stupid with Earnest, Charlie Chan in Shanghai Cobra, Jurassic Park--always scary-- and later tonight Signs. I don’t dare watch The Grudge, which I found to be disturbingly scary. The first time I saw it I couldn’t get it out of my head and that sound, which I remember making as a child, lost its innocence.

I’m getting my mojo back. For several weeks my motivation was at an all time low, though I knew better than to throw in the towel. Lyn’s "Habit a Week Challenge" has been a big help. Last week it was to drink more water and this week it’s “MOVE!”. And that, I’m finding, is a huge motivator.

Two days now, in a row, I’ve gone out and made myself move for 30 minutes--and I feel soooooo much better. Riding the recumbent bike doesn’t bother my Achilles tendon, so there’s really no excuse…and I’m finding I’m also able to walk again with less pain. Hopefully the tendon is healing.

Focusing on these 2 habits…drinking water and moving is enough for now. I’m learning that if I put too much pressure on myself when my motivation is lacking I end up feeling like a failure and become one. Changing things up a bit--to habits I can actually accomplish--- makes me feel like a success and is empowering. Moving in the right direction is so much better than stagnating. It breeds hope.

Now, for the other thing I’m doing that may be helping in the appetite department: Metamucil. I read this web page and decided to give the fiber tip a try….figured it can’t hurt and may help. And, since my doctor already suggested I used Metamucil for high cholesterol and IBS I’m following doctor’s orders.

I’m using the Metamucil once per day just prior to the time period I find myself more likely to overeat. And I’m also adding some natural cider vinegar to my Metamucil cocktail, since I read that vinegar slows down digestion and aids in preventing insulin spikes. I can’t remember the title of the book, but the author-- a medical doctor--said to avoid insulin spikes when eating simple carbohydrates, eat them with protein, fat, fiber or vinegar.

That’s all for now. I’ll still be gone several more days for fall break. “See” you later.