I used to awake on Fridays and think "it's cleaning day. Yuk". And I'd rush through the job, hating it, just wanting it to be over and done for another week.
Then I was diagnosed with cancer. In my spirit entered the stab of conviction and guilt. And with that conviction followed by guilt came a moment of clarity.
I had wasted my life.
Each moment is a gift. And I possess the gift of free will. My choices are mine. (As well I live in a free country where I can express my free will. Praise God.)
I had chosen to gripe and complain--I was a murmurer like the Israelites wondering in the wilderness! ( You can read the account in the Old Testament of the Bible.)
God gave them provision freely as they had requested, yet they were not satisfied. Each morsel they ate was not received with thanksgiving in their heart, but with resentment and anger. They ate and pointed their figurative finger at God as if to say 'you are not gracious'. All the while they were showing themselves to be ingrates.
In my moment of clarity I realized I too had been an ingrate. God had given me life, a home, a family, and the ability to care for--to enjoy-- all that provision. Yet I complained.
On that day, in that moment, unknown to me how much time I had left on this earth I determined that I would never ever again complain about housework. And I haven't.
I do it with joy in my heart, thankful that I am here, I am alive, with my family. Mind you, were I able to pay someone to do it for me--I would! And I would fill that free time with other joyful activity.
Joy is where you find it, where you will take it. In every choice you must make, you can choose the way that is life giving or you can choose 'death'...death of your spirit, body or soul.
Having an intact physical body is a precious gift. Using that body to create life is a demonstration of thankfulness.
How will you feed that body? Healthfully? Instead of thinking of it as denial or restriction, think of it as your choice--because it is!-- when you forgo those foods that don't nourish your body. And don't be resentful. It is your choice, your free will to eat or to not eat, to eat poorly or to eat well.
If you want choose death instead of life, so be it. But do that with joy--if you can. If you are gonna eat junk, overeat and burden your body with extra weight, let no one judge you in that--it is your free choice, your free will. But quit beating yourself up. And quit being resentful. Why? No one is doing it to you--you are doing it to yourself.
And should you realize you no longer want to travel that road that leads to death, don't beat yourself up either. Instead, change direction. It may take time to get in the habit of choosing life, but if the desire is there you will succeed.
"....there have been many times when I have shed bitter tears, when if I had understood the situation better, I would have celebrated my good luck instead."