" For, lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone; the flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land. " Song of Solomon

January 15, 2009

I am experiencing a dearth of words these days, at least when it comes to blog posts. I'm attributing it to the time of year. The holidays are past and the days are gray and cold. It's a time for snuggling in and reveling in the goodness of now, dealing with the day at hand instead of looking ahead to the future and the exciting possibilities. That time will come and with it a flurry of activity. But for now, calmness and contentment suffice.

My weight is holding steady. I'm not losing but neither am I gaining. I'm calling this my 'happy' weight. It seems my body likes this number on the scale. I'd like to get down 10 pounds thinner. In time, yea, in time, it will happen, I do believe. Because I am persevering. Because I am applying what I've learned these past 2 years. I now know that there is some head stuff I had to deal with to make any lasting progress.

Yes, weight can be lost by numbers, as in counting. Paint by number, lose weight by number, eh? But I want to do more than lose weight. I want to keep it lost. And I don't want to have to obsess over every forkful I put into my mouth for the rest of my life.

I've discovered that it's a big mistake --when one finds oneself fat--to immediately begin a diet. My experience has taught me it's best to first take stock. How did one get to this place of being fat? Why does one eat as much as one does? Is it the food choices themselves or the volume of food, or a combination of both? What else is contributing to it? What about sleep patterns, level of physical activity, thyroid issues, general stress--all of which can affect our weight--are they part of the scenario?

We must play detective. Playing detective and discovering the "how" we got 'here' will lead us to the next step. The step of answering 'why". Why does one eat as one does?

Answering the how and why gives one the input to take the next step of adjusting one's behavior. Adjusting behavior should be done gradually...by implementing one thing at a time...and keeping at that change for a period of time, to see if there are results forthcoming.

This is a discovery period. A time to discover what works and what doesn't. And because one doesn't have the restrictions or rigidity of a diet, one doesn't have those burdens in the mix. I call them burdens because they add to the problem. Instead of solving the problem they become part of the bigger problem, making it more difficult to succeed. It's like having to solve the problem with a huge handicap.

Because we want an immediate amend to our situation we choose a diet believing we can lose the weight fast and all will be fixed, only to discover 20 years later that nothing got fixed. I urge you to take the time it takes to figure out how and why you are fat. It may take 2 years but result in permanent lasting fat loss. Isn't that better than spending 20 years spinning your wheels?

I'm convinced we haste because we really dislike our bodies and ourselves. What is wrong with accepting our body as it is, warts and all? We measure ourselves by a standard set by Hollywood and 5th Avenue marketeers. Or a doctor who tells us we are too fat based upon a weight chart designed by a statistician--with no account being taken for the individuality of us as a person or our situation--warning us that we are taking years off of our lives, giving no consideration to how that news itself isn't going to aid our longevity. And that doctor hands us a sheet of paper telling us how to rid ourselves of the excess fat, as if it were that easy! And it's all the more galling when the doctor himself is fat, or worse yet, lean, with no genuine understanding of the difficulty encompassing weight-loss.

I am late into my 5th decade and am thinking it is high time that I am 'happy' with the me that is, well, me. All those years of being unhappy with my weight--what a waste. And I do believe the effect of the unhappiness resulted in me moving up the scale number. Not for a minute do I believe it helped me keep from getting larger. It made me obsessive about food and eating. I wanted food and I wanted it all the time because I wasn't 'supposed' to eat it/have it.

Having rambled on at such length belies my initial statement that I'm experiencing a dearth of words. I guess what I 'know' is within me and having 'pen' in hand brings it forth, putting it to 'paper'. I can only hope it makes sense and helps you today.
"....there have been many times when I have shed bitter tears, when if I had understood the situation better, I would have celebrated my good luck instead."


I am not a doctor and all information, suggestions, etc are my personal opinion only.