" For, lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone; the flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land. " Song of Solomon

September 11, 2008

Promises and Priorities OR "Why am I always last on my list?"

This from Maria's Last Diet:

I promised my mother I'd take her to a Broadway show for her birthday.

I promised my husband I'd remember to stop at the bank for him.

I promised my daughter I'd make a haircut appointment for her for this Saturday.

I promised my son I'd give his friends a ride home from soccer practice tomorrow.

I promised Elaina I'd bring my apple-walnut cake to her brunch on Sunday morning.

I promised my book club I'd hold our next meeting at my house.

I promised my boss I'd have that report all bound and ready by 5 p.m. on Friday.

I promised the family I'd make their favorite meatballs and spaghetti tonight.

I promised myself I'd lose these extra 30 lbs.

Guess which is the only promise I won't be able to keep?


This begs the question "why is it that I let myself down but not others? I know why I keep my promises to others--I don't want to disappoint them and/or I don't want to be perceived as a failure in their eyes.

Yet I don't mind disappointing myself--I don't see myself as a failure if I don't achieve my weight loss goals. Is it because the promise to lose weight isn't as important to me as I tell myself and therefore I won't be so very disappointed if I fail to keep that promise? And is the reason I don't see myself as a failure because I don't believe losing the weight and keeping it off is even possible? You can't fail at a thing that's impossible. And you'll be perceived as stupid to keep trying.

If I believe in my core that it's not possible to lose and keep it off, then I'm really not going to try that hard...why put the effort into something that I deep down don't believe will work in the end?

My core belief will set my intention and determine my outcome.

It looks like then, to achieve permanent weight loss, I'm going to have to start believing that it is possible.

For a long time, after so many failures--as in lose a lot of weight, but eventually regaining some or all of it--I decided permanent weight loss was not possible. And that only a fool would continue doing a thing that wasn't achievable. It's like a pipe dream--and failure is absolute.

But in more recent times I'm beginning to see that those who do achieve permanent weight loss--though they be very very few--have done so because they kept trying and failing. And failing enough times eventually led them to success--to what will work.

The lesson here is that persistence is the key. I may fail and fail again. But surely if I keep at it, eventually I will "arrive". Accepting that failure is part of the equation is a must--it minimizes the discouragement that comes with each step backward. And the knowledge that persistence will pay off with some steps forward energizes and encourages me to keep on trying..knowing that if I string together more forward steps than backward steps I will be moving closer to my goal and to ultimate success.

"....there have been many times when I have shed bitter tears, when if I had understood the situation better, I would have celebrated my good luck instead."


I am not a doctor and all information, suggestions, etc are my personal opinion only.